Enter the housfrau

Enter the housfrau

“Cat, it’s been a bit- everything okay?”
Oh, yeah, y’know, I’ve just been so busy. Being a mutherfuckin adult, and all.
Cause guess what, dewds and ladydewds-
We totally bought a house.

A house! We bought it! And then we moved! And then we went on vacation!*
Having only been here 1 day and a handful of evenings, it still feels like we’re squatters.

Buying a house was simultaneously the most exciting, terrifying, horrible and wonderful experience. Setting aside the payment schedule that ties one to the bank in the manner of indentured servitude, there’s also the crippling weight of responsibility. While before I blithely accepted everything from black mold to asbestos to demonic-centipedes in the basement with a ‘not my problem!’ I now find myself obsessively monitoring cracks and creaks and tapping on walls for reasons that are as mysterious as they are Utterly Important. Neuroses aside, thought, there’s something about looking out a window and knowing, should the mood strike me, we could build a crow’s nest off the roof, or keep chickens, or PAINT ALL THE WALLS HERRINGBONE and no one can say a goddam thing about it. Makes one feel downright pioneering.

like this guy.

like this guy.

Like a lot of 20something double-x-chromasomed humans, I’ve read, subscribed and unsubscribed (and then secretly resubscribed) to an embarrassing number of ‘life-style blogs.’ And, like a lot of my fellow blog readers I’ve found myself feeling less-than positive about them.  Not that there’s anything inherently insidious about ‘life-style porn- hell, if you want to spend three days making, styling and photographing vegan cupcakes on vintage plates because you seek to put more beauty in the world, I say go for it (and also, send me the link because I will eat that shit up). It’s when those pictures are used (whether externally or internally) to make a woman feel like there is something she should be doing or she’s not a good enough woman that the whole thing just…bums me out.

So, in an attempt at candid honesty and the lofty pursuit of TRUTH, I present a glimpse at our new (yet unnamed?**) house which is no less curated*** but definitely unedited and, for the most part, uncleaned.

The view from the front door. Obviously unpacking books and Tardis lights are number 1 priority.

The view from the front door. Obviously unpacking books and Tardis lights are number 1 priority.

That's the front door you just came through on this imaginary journey!

That’s the front door you just came through on this imaginary journey!

the dining (?) room. Not seen here: the mound of stuff on the floor behind the pile of boxes.

the dining (?) room. Not seen here: the mound of stuff on the floor behind the pile of boxes.

The Kitchen- Beav's mom spent last monday, while we moved, unpacking and settling our kitchen. Friends, this is the most lovely thing you can do for someone who's recently moved and who likes to cook.

The Kitchen- Beav’s mom spent last Monday, while we moved, unpacking and settling our kitchen. Friends, this is the  loveliest thing you can do for someone who’s recently moved and who likes to cook.

The kitchen's also the first room in which we've started to decorate. We've decided to stick with our previous, tasteful theme of 'Awkward Nudity"

The kitchen’s also the first room in which we’ve started to decorate. We’ve decided to stick with our previous, tasteful theme of ‘Awkward Nudity”

This RUMPUS room. Look at all that light! What is this, a futuristic space rumpus room?

This RUMPUS room. Look at all that light! What is this, a futuristic space rumpus room?

Our backyard. There's a yard! And no one's dog can poop in it unless we let them. #thingsthatbecomeluxurieswhenyouliveinapartments.

Our backyard. There’s a yard! And no one’s dog can poop in it unless we let them. #weirdluxuries.

house_first week8

New house = new studio! With three windows!! (trust me, the third’s on the left)

The chair from which I write this now (instead of dealing with the surrounding detritus.) And what's that door- a closet? A studio closet?! Yeah it is.

The chair from which I write this now (instead of dealing with the surrounding detritus.) And what’s that door- a closet? A studio closet?! Yeah it is.

Stay tuned for exciting house updates (spackling! Fixing toilets! Filing paperwork!) and how-tos (ex: How to start a garden, How to Make Cheap-ass Curtains, How to Make Sure Your House Isn’t Haunted, etc)

*not advisable, but as the trip was family-organized and pre-planned long before the house and to a place with temperatures hot enough to make 2pm mojitos downright rational, we allowed ourselves to be 'talked into it'.
**Suggestions? 
***Sorry, folks, no pics of bedrooms or bathrooms. In part because some strange (Puritan? British?New England?) part of my ancestral DNA feels this is 'not done,' and in part because as of right now they are purely functional, and empty (boring) spaces.
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