reflection’s for winter. Summer is for doing. (unless you’re George.)
[all while seeking warmth and working on postcards for the collective.]
Hi- did you miss me?
I missed you.
It’s been a full couple of months- Not ‘crazy busy’ or even ‘crazy’ or ‘busy’, just full. Full of studio nights, full of cooking and takeout, full of work- work that was dull and work that was thrilling, full of thinking, full of doing, full of the beautiful give and take needed to exist as a human in a world with other humans.
I won’t lie to you- there were times when I was too busy to write, but more often than not the silence was intentional. It wasn’t personal, I just needed time to put my brain in order and figure out just what it is I’m doing here. When I first started this blog I had the idea that it would serve as a portfolio of sorts. It’s meandered since then, focusing on everything from the intensely personal to attempts at being objective and universally relevant- the only real constant being my compulsion to Keep Writing Things Here. A couple of times I’ve attempted to refocus on the art, but then, last year I found a website host whose price and interface fill my heart with cupcakes. Now I have a shiny professsssional website* where I can show my work, without any references to my social sweating, but which requires time and upkeep to make it relevant. And then, of course, there comes the question of redundancy- If I’m writing about my work over there, do I really need to write about it at length over here ? How much CATLYNCH does the internet really need? And if it’s redundant, then can I stop feeling guilty about tangential and self-indulgent posts here? But I still feel this commitment/compulsion to keep writing, and what do I write about if not this thing [art], around which I’ve built so much of my identity? What is the sound of one hand clapping?!
This, I think, is really why sitting down to write here has been an exercise in cognitive dissonance and why this year in particular it’s floundered.
So it’s time for a change. I’m not sure in what direction, but a change is a-comin.
But first, thank-you – whether this is your first visit or the 306th post to come to your inbox, thank-you for being here, for reading, for caring, for giving this small corner of the internet a reason to exist. Speaking of which,
what do you want to see here?
Seriously, what keeps you coming back? What would you find interesting or relevant?
Writing and pictures about plants and growing things? Food? Stories of social awkwardness? Professional musings about education, imagination and emergent curricula? Socio-political soapboxing through the lens of feminism? Or maybe you prefer to get something out of this page- how-to’s, recipes, crafts, TASTY KNOWLEDGE? Truly, let me know what gets you jazzed- the only thing not up for negotiation is cats.
There will always be cats.
*MASSIVE update there, coming soon
Right before my impromptu summer-blog break I posted a few cryptic sentences about Employment Opportunities and Life Changes with the promise that I’d come clean once the dust settled. A few months (!) and several posts later I realized I never made good on this promise.
‘Cat, we come here for art and pictures of your cats- beyond that we don’t care.’
Totally cool. Feel free to skip to the bottom of the page for just that.
But I’ve been thinking a lot in the about why I still blog- I’ve set aside my initial aspirations for internet fame and book deals*, my friends/family are kept updated by calls and texts rather than checking here, and yet I still find myself updating this thing- why?
Two, totally selfish reasons- clarity and accountability.
Having a place where I have to put thought down into words- and those words into actual sentences- helps me take ideas and abstract concepts that are swirling in my brain in a nebulous cloud and funnel them into coherency. This is excellent, low-risk practice for when I have to do that to Real People of Import or write Artist Statements (since most galleries/grants won’t except photocopies of sketches and incoherent doodles. Rude.) And writing such thoughts here, rather than in my sketchbook makes me feel committed to an idea/project. Even if no one reads it but me, having it floating around in the public sphere shames me into Doing as much as Thinking.
So, whether you care or not, here’s what’s been going on in the world of Gainful Employ:
A few months ago I was offered a once-in-a-lifetime, now-or-never job as a teaching artist at the Columbus Museum of Art. Taking it, however, meant leaving the best job I’d ever had at Open Door Art Studio. Leaving Open Door, and the beautiful people who work and create there was possibly the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. It had nothing to do with Open Door and everything to do with me- it was a dream job but it wasn’t my dream. There were many tears, more hugs and even more encouragement from all my ODAS friends that enabled me to move forward. I say all that to clarify that when I talk about loving my job at CMA, it is not because I didn‘t love my job at Open Door. (SO MANY FEELINGZ.)
There was more planned but really, I think that’s enough navel-gazing for one day. You deserve some cats;
This week’s top or bottom is utterly frivolous and devoid of any deep meaning or theoretical value. Because it’s been a long week. And it’s only Tuesday. And there is scientifically nothing better than cats in old timey clothes.
And should you feel truly cheated for not getting your weekly dose of art history, here.